Hyundai Sonata looks like shit


The Hyundai Sonata looks like someone took a giant bloody shit and then stuck it in the microwave and drew a bunch of lines on it.


Social moments in Disney cartoons


You know when you’re holding the door for someone but you feel a little awkward or confused about whether or not you should push the door way open, and look back at them to make sure that the door doesn’t slam on them, or if you can just open it a little larger than you normally would, but you don’t want to be that awkward fag who is obviously placing a lot of importance on how he opens the door, but he’s pretending he doesn’t care about the people behind him, but he obviously does.  Where are these kind of moments in Disney movies?  I’ve never seen a moment where people are making awkward eye contact in The Lion King or Alladin or Pixar’s the movie Up.  Up was a real piece of shit, by the way, mostly because the grandfather was just too fucking ugly for life or anything.  My blood boils when I look at his retarded fucking face.  And look at the wife too.  Eww, can you imagine her disgusting dried up cunt, which is filled with poop because she just shat her pants because she wears diapers because they are old disgusting smelly people?  I mean it was kind of her fault for requesting only anal sex with 4 black men at a time so that her anus ruptured and her sphincter no longer operates correctly, so shit is just oozing out of her ass and making it’s way up her cunt all day long, so when the old man slaps her in the face with his big smelly greasy balls at the end of the day, she queefs out this rocket of shit and queef gas everywhere, and then she’s like “EUUEEGEGEG!!! WERE SO CUTE!”  No you’re not you smelly cunt.  And why is his face a fucking retarded square?  Who thought that would be a good idea?  Who thought that looks good?  Whoever did should be shot in the fucking face and thrown in a giant pile of dead bodies labeled “miserable retarded failure faggots”.  Seriously I cannot even fathom how they came up with such fucking retarded looking characters.  It’s like they drew a character, but then they said, hey, you know what?  His face isn’t rectangular enough.  I want it to look more like a fucking box, and just more retarded overall.  Could you do that for me?  Thanks a lot, yeah yes I said angular, like a box.  I want his head to have very sharp angles so that it just looks completely fucking retarded, yes.

This movie was also retarded if I remember correctly.  Some story about two cunts getting old, some vapid meaningless bullshit that they knew everyone would like, so it took no risks.  And the dog isn’t funny at all.  Fuck the dog’s stupid voice thing.  It’s not funny.  Kill yourselves Pixar.  Ratatouille was also shit.  Mostly also because the animation was retarded.  Why does everything have to be animated so cutesy fartsy overtweened overeased bullshit?  It looks SO FUCKING BAD.  STOP BEING RETARDED.  STOP OVER EASING EVERY FUCKING MOVEMENT SO IT LOOKS SOOO FUCKING RETARDED.  Just because lots of people animate things that way doesn’t mean you should TRY to make your animations look that way.  It looks sooooooooooooo bad.

Also, just look at the old man’s face.  He clearly just jizzed himself and probably shat his pants at the same time.  He’s like, “Well, normally I just fill up my pants, I mean adult Daddy Diaper, with poop, but this time it’s jizz AND poop.  Does it really get any better than this?”  And look at the wife’s eyes after she kisses him.  She’s got these really wide energetic psychotic eyes.  You know what?  Old people don’t make expressions like that.  Old people are never that excited about anything, you retarded immature Pixar animators who have no life experience other than playing WoW and masturbating to A Bug’s Life.  Old people never get that look on their face.  You know why?  Because the’re dead inside.  They probably are ready to die and there’s no way they can care about anything that much anymore because at this point in their lives, God has taken a big fat shit on their lives and they have all these horrible health problems, and they just shit their pants constantly and hope they don’t die of being bitten by the bugs that eat the poop in their pants.

The problem with 70s funk and soul music

I hate when I’m listening to 70s funk and soul music and some black guy is like, “Don’t stop that… don’t stop that BODY ROCK!”  It’s like, what the fuck are you trying to say?  What the fuck is Body Rock?  You sound fucking retarded.  That shit isn’t cool anymore bro.  Your slang is wack.  You might as well just be like, “UH..  DO.. DON… DO… DU DU DUDU DO DO DoOOONT STOP… DOnt  SToP  … DONT STOP .. DO DODODO DUEDE DEDEDEDE DOO DU DERRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Praying definitely isn’t completely retarded


I really hate this cunt.  Look at her.  She’s like, “EHHHHHNNNG!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME GOD!!” LOL!  Stupid bitch.  Keep folding your hands together like a retard and looking up at the sky.  There is definitely a big man up there who will help you because he totally is up there and he cares.  Just keep looking up.  Oh my god you’re so stupid.  Do you really think that God will only give a shit about the situation if you keep looking up like a retard and praying real hard?  What do you think he was doing when those bombs went off?  Jacking off with his own poop because people down there, who he created, weren’t praying to him, so he was like, hey, fuck those niggers, I hope they get bombed?  Come on woman.  Do something useful like masturbate using a giant solid terd as a dildo.


I remember a while back Wedney’s had a commercial where the fat billionaire Wendey, whom Wendey’s is named after, talked about how she was Wedney and how her new burgers were just the way her old rapist father used to make ’em.  This was a poor marketing decision by Wedney’s because it proves that eating Wedney make you fat.  Recently they have introduced a new mascot which is a more attractive woman with red hair who is the new Wedney.  Her attitude is totally down to earth and agreeable.  She just likes good food and is always recommending to her friends what great food to get at Wedney’s instead of eating crackers off of the floor of your SUV that your husband bought you.  Then she’s always walking around all sassy at the end of the commercial jangling her drink around (probably a Frosty) with swag; she’s jangling it around like she don’t give a fuck.  She always knows best. Come to think of it, her attitude is very similar to that of the average fat person.  Anyway, seeing as Wedney’s seems to be in the process of changing their mascot into something more sexual, I suggest that in the next Wedney commercial, red haired Wedney is receiving full quadruple anal penetration.  I think 2 of the four penises should be big black hairy penises, and the other should be bacon cheeseburgers or chicken flatbread sandwiches.  So there’s a jizzy combination of sperm, anal discharge, blood, and chicken flatbread that is vomiting out of Wedney’s asshole all over a crowd of people.  And then it cuts to Wedney’s face and she smirks and says, “Well that’s better!”